Reflection Practice For Mediators

Enjoy Episode #2 below.

learn more about Samantha Hardy Here:

The article mentioned is:
HARDY, S. (2009) ‘Teaching Mediation as Reflective Practice’. (2009) Negotiation Journal
385- 400.

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Semiotics & Mediation

I thought the following presentation would be of interest to fellow mediators and others working in conflict. It explains the semiotic perspective on nonverbal communication.

I hope you enjoy it!

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New Feature: Video Podcast

I'd like to introduce everyone to the newest feature of video blog posting. No, I will not be giving up on the written version of my blog postings but rather, this will complement them.

It also has to do somewhat with time. As I have recently embarked on my journey towards a PhD, I have realized I do not have enough time to write as many blog postings as I used to. I thought this will be a good way of staying engaged with my reads so please, as always, feedback is appreciated and expected.

Enjoy the first episode below.

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ADR Book Club- It's Back!

It is that time again.......

ADRHub is excited to introduce the second book for the book club.

The book that has been chosen is: "The No Asshole Rule; Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't" by Robert I. Sutton, PhD

"The definitive guide to working with--surviving--bullies, creeps, jerks, tyrants, tormentors, despots, backstabbers, egomaniacs, and all the other assholes who do their best to destroy you at work" (Back Jacket of The No Asshole Rule).

The motto of the book club is Read, Engage and Learn. This is how we can learn and grow and be more effective in conflict resolution and prevention.

Reading: This is a great way to read something different than maybe you would of chosen to usually read and a way to connect with others in the ADR field.

Engage: We want to hear from you. Each participant offers a different perspective that we value. The ADRHub book club will allow for us to take a journey together and engage in rich discussions.

Learn: Through these perspectives and discussions, we will all learn something and maybe come up with a new idea....or two.

The discussions will start on June 5. This gives everyone a chance to get the book, read a few chapters, and get ready to discuss.

The forum is created for discussion and insight to the weekly readings. Each week on Sunday, a question will be posted as a starting point. However, I encourage each of you to ask any questions that are on your mind at any time. Sometime during the week, please try and respond to at least one other club members post...remember we want to Read, Engage, and Learn.

Week of: June 5
Discussion of Chapters 1 & 2

Week of: June 13
Discussion of Chapters 3 & 4

Week of: June 20
Discussion of Chapters 5 & 6

Week of June 27
Discussion of Chapters 7 & Final Thoughts
  • Visit the Discussion Forum [HERE]
  • Have a question or comment? Go [HERE]
* Please help promote the book club. Feel free to put any of the attached graphics on your site, blog, group, etc. with the message below or one of your own as well as use #adrbookclub on twitter.


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'Free' Coffee & Rapport


Rapport building is often cited as critical characteristic of a successful mediators. As a mediator, I agree, and think it must also be genuine. Additionally, establishing rapport, or building it, is something that mediators probably do and use not only as a tool in their Mediator's Toolbox but rather something they use throughout the day during daily interactions.

Now of course this is written for mediators, my usual audience, yet take out the word "mediator" and change with the work you do. I am fully confident it applies to your profession as well.

I think rapport, when genuinely used most times, is something that comes naturally, and in order to be natural, it is displayed without wanting or expecting something in return other than a friendly, respectful interaction.

Elements of rapport include verbal and nonverbal elements such as:
  1. Friendly tones
  2. Open hand gesture
  3. Empathy and concern,
  4. Back-channel/paralanguage to display you are listening ("mmm", head-nodding, etc.),
  5. Smiling and
  6. Eye contact (not playing on your mobile device!).

I experienced a great un-intended result of building rapport the other day. I live and work in New York
I often do work in Queens, Manhattan and Brooklyn and part of my usual morning ritual is to make sure I have 4 quarters (25 cent coins for my foreign readers!) in my pocket along with my paper currency. Two of the quarters are to buy the newspaper, and the other two go towards the $1.50 coffee I buy from the coffee cart on the street corner near my office.

Well, a few days ago I recalled, while after ordering my coffee that I successfully put the quarters in my pocket while at home but I forget to take my money clip with the paper money. I asked the "coffee man" if I could pay him the dollar tomorrow and explained the 50 cents is all I had as I forgot my money at home.

He replied in his thick yet fully understandable middle eastern accent, "Of course, not a problem. I can lend you some money too if you want for today."

I smiled and said thank you, I can go to the ATM to withdraw cash later but I appreciated the offer.

Why did the "coffee guy" allow me to get the coffee without paying the full price? Why did he offer me money for the day?

I like to believe it is due, despite neither of us knowing each other's name, the rapport we have developed. Not necessarily a friendship but rapport. A few month's prior he was was not there one day. The following day I asked if everything was ok, and he said he overslept.

Another day he heard my voice affected by a cold and allergies, and asked how I was doing. He then told me how his wife was sick and had to go the doctor. The following day I asked how she was doing and we engaged in brief conversation.

On a different day, again briefly, he explained to me how he had another job and how when his son gets a little older, he will take over the food cart business.

Rapport is developed over time. Picture a screen with hundreds of different little circles of all different colors with a black background. Taking away one little element of rapport, a circle, and no big deal- right?

Take away enough of them and you all of sudden you have less bright color circles and just a black screen. [See the video below for the circles!]

So why did this "coffee guy" give me my coffee despite not having the dollar to pay? Why am I discerning this interaction? because I think the little things matter.

If we work towards creating an environment where rapport building is natural, then wonderful, unexpected "little things" happen.

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Whats Happening In Conflict Resolution?

It's Back.
It Starts June 1st.
See The Book HERE.
Will You Join Us?

Content Wanted for 3rd Edition of CRE Activity Calendar (May 31 Deadline)

Bill Warters- Got a notion on sharing emotions? Have a song that helps us get along? Maybe a scheme to a

chieve a dream? We want ‘em.

We’re looking for the ideas that are bouncing around your head – and your classroom – to motivate, move and make students think about the awesome power of conflict resolution to make a difference in their lives.
[Read More] [Visit The School Based Conflict Resolution Group]


Noam Ebne, of the Werner Institute, blogs from China as part of the Second Generation Negotiation Teaching Project

[Putting it to the test: Judging a Chinese student negotiation competition]

[Inside a Chinese Law School Negotiation Class]

[Managing Tempests with Teacups] [1st Post HERE]

[Noam Ebner Blog]

More News, Jobs & Events

Research Assistant for its Policy Studies program (Kroc Institute)

JAMS Panelist Hon. Jamie Jacobs-May (Ret.) Receives Lifetime Achievement Award

Conflict Transformation Skills Training

Virginia Mediation Network

Join host Jeff Thompson and Bernie Mayer in the Part Two (listen to Part One here) of their conversation as they discuss conflict resolution, an update to his popular book- Dynamics of Conflict Resolution, the 'circle of conflict' as well as current issues in conflict resolution. Note, this is part one of two.

[More On The Series Here] [Visit The Blog] [Episode #21 Here]

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Podcast #21: Part II With Bernie Mayer

Episode #21

Part II: Dynamics of Conflict Resolution

with Bernie Mayer

Join host Jeff Thompson and Bernie Mayer in the Part Two (listen to Part One here) of their conversation as they discuss conflict resolution, an update to his popular book- Dynamics of Conflict Resolution, the 'circle of conflict' as well as current issues in conflict resolution. Note, this is part one of two.

Enjoy listening below:

Subscribe to the new series by click the image below:

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