Q Card Series (2)


Q-Card Series

John Wade, and the brilliant team at Bond University’s Dispute Resolution Centre, have a wonderful collection of “Q-Cards” which are great little golden nuggets of information to help all dispute and conflict specialists. The Q Card series are all the business card size so very convenient and easy to take with you. Learn more about the Dispute Resolution Centre at Bond University [here].


Today’s card, #2, is titled “Common Mistakes of Negotiators”

Before I begin, this card is a great grounder or humbling opportunity to remind yourself; although you might be a mediator extraordinaire (like Geoff Sharpe!) we are not perfect. By pointing out common mistakes mediators and negotiators make, it can help us recognize these and hopefully then diminish the chances of them arising in your next mediation or negotiation.

Inadequate preparation of facts, evidence, interests, doubts and rules (‘data chaos’)
Being unclear about their own interests and BATNA
Acting upon assumptions
Failing to listen effectively
Using questions poorly
Making offers too quickly, impatiently getting to “the bottom of the solution”
Fixing upon and defending a single solution
Making ambit claims
Failing to list and evaluate alternatives
Failing to be aware of process as well as substances
Failing to disclose helpful information to the other party, especially one’s own concerns
Bringing the wrong people to the negotiation

These are only 11 of 20 tips on the card. For more information on this card, or the series of Q Cards, contact the Centre at drc@bond.edu.au

Note: pictured above, from left to right- John Wade, Jeff Thompson and Kiwi Mediation Extraordinaire Geoff Sharpe.
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MBB Archive

Missed the online web discussion with Mediators Beyond Borders? You can watch the 40 minute archive in its entirety [HERE].
Learn who they are, what they do, and why they do it. You will hear from Kenneth Cloke- MBB President, Eileen Barker-MBB member and Toby Taylor- intern for MBB among others talk about how they are invloved in MBB and the various ways you can participate.
Enjoy!
You can also watch the video below as well. We do reccomend watching it in the link above however as that has preserved the program in its original format.



Find more videos like this on Peace and Collaborative Development Network
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NYC-DR Roundtable Recap, January 2010


For those who miss the monthly NYC-DR Roundtable Breakfast meetings sponsored by ACRGNY and John Jay College due to schedules (yes, we are all very busy conflict resolvers) or due to locations (I guess everyone can not be in New York City), I plan to write a recap of each gathering I attend. You can join the listserv by clicking [here].

Note 1: this is not an official recap nor is it intended to be one but rather it is just a posting of my notes and recollection from the day.

Note #2: For this month I credit Maria Volpe for contributing to this recap as well as editing it...Thanks!I hope you enjoy and feedback is always welcome!
January’s roundtable featured Meridith Gould talking about conflict resolution programs in schools and how she feels many are neither appropriate nor effective. Wow!

Because of her powerful topic, the roundtable for January was in fact not a ‘roundtable’ at all because there were too many people for a roundtable discussion. The talk was moved to a bigger room to accommodate the large group.
Julie Denny, recent past president of ACR GNY, announced at the outset of the breakfast that over 80 people RSVP’d for the early morning event.

I would like to note that one thing that I always enjoy is the audience and the wide array of people present. This month was no exception. We had volunteer mediators, professional mediators, undergraduate and graduate students, teachers, court mediators, federal agency representatives, law enforcement (me!), and people from New Jersey, Connecticut and throughout New York.
So, onto the talk:

Here’s how the session was described in the announcement sent to the NYC-DR listserv:

January Roundtable speaker Meridith Gould will talk about why she believes many conflict resolution programs implemented in schools, after-school programs and community centers are neither appropriate nor effective in transforming the lives of many urban/low income youth. She will discuss the challenges that surface when organizations use mass-produced conflict resolution and empowerment programs that are not relevant to the students they serve.
Additionally, she will discuss how youth workers/educators can create programs for youth that are effective, fun and sustainable. She will share her “Empowering Youth: Student Success Model” that addresses the whole child and meets the needs of youth and their families in these communities. (See Meridith’s bio at the end of this entry).

What follows is a brief summary of Meridith’s remarks.

Meridith works on conflict resolution strategies for inner city youth. She did her dissertation on inner city African American adolescent girls focusing on self-image, empowerment, and conflict. She has consulted with the Big Brother/Sister Program in Atlanta.

Meridith’s Empowering Youth Model includes 23 skills which cover academics, personal life skills, and conflict skills. Originally designed for the Big Brother/Sister Program, her model can be modified. She is happy to work with anyone and everyone but reminded the audience that her model is copyrighted!

During the session, Meridith stressed:

· the importance of all skills being taught. The program has to be more than what some administrators ask for, namely “Getting kids to graduate.” It has to include social and emotional skills as well.

· that needs assessment is crucial and necessary when developing a program. Goals must be short term AND long term. Pre and Post assessment is a must.

· that programs and modules should not be lumped together into one mega module; instead, they should be sequenced with each one building on the previous segment.

· that programs should be systemic, sustainable and affordable!

· that programs must adapt to demographics and local cultures. Program activities must be relevant.

· that peer mediation/bully mediation programs should not be ‘the program’ but rather an ‘add-on’ or just a part of a larger program. There must be other trainings in addition to mediation.

· when analyzing a program, if it is not systemic, then is should be considered an ‘add-on’ and needs other programs/modules to complement it.

Meridith noted that people should decide who they are (labels, titles, etc.) with respect to diversity. People should be able to define themselves and we should avoid assumptions (race, ethnicity, etc.).

The drawbacks to some programs are their short term goals and lack of continuity of the program.

Bio: Meridith Gould has more than 13 years of experience in training and consulting. She has an MS in Dispute Resolution and is a Doctoral Candidate of Conflict Analysis and Resolution. She has worked as a professor at many premier universities in Atlanta, designing courses on conflict resolution, inter-personal conflict, anger-management, self-image and empowerment in women and girls and violence prevention. She has designed violence prevention, family empowerment, Mom/Daughter and empowerment programs. She has worked as a consultant and trainer designing violence prevention and intervention programs for community groups, government agencies, schools, universities, religious institutions and local non-profits. She is a certified mediator, violence prevention specialist and anger-management trainer. She is the co-author of “Conflict Resolution Strategies for Inner-City Youth” in The Praeger Handbook of Urban Education.
read more "NYC-DR Roundtable Recap, January 2010"

Family Mediation Pilot Gets Mixed Results



Stats, Standards & Surveys!

This article I think is worth reading for many reasons- and beyond just for family mediators. Issues such as saving, accrediting mediators and determining success is not limited to court mediations surrounding family issues.


I'll start with the last sentence as I know it raises the most emotions in ADR folk:

a survey carried out by the Civil Mediation Council showed widespread support for its moves towards accredited training for mediators, the establishment of a register of mediators and clear quality standards.

Also, I must admit I do not often read the comments by readers, but for this article I was glad I did because there is heaps of information there as well:

So it cost over £3 million more to administer the scheme than it saved! How many people could have been helped using this huge sum of money. Also I would question the effectiveness of a partial settlement using mediation.

Feedback from another reader:

It’s a very short article and there are issues that need to be made clearer:• the mediators are not trained to a high enough level to be really effective, and certainly they are unable to either detect or deal with the "loonies" (the implacably hostile) who inflict so much harm upon the children as they fight it out over many years.

• the ongoing involvement of the family lawyers is usually unhelpful – mediation is robbing them of their revenue stream after all. There are no sanctions for refusing to mediate.

• a 28% settlement rate in hostile courtroom surroundings is not be sniffed at.

• how much money did the 28% save the court service - where did this £3m figure come from quoted by Jacqueline Emmerson??

In short, I think given all of the above, the results are actually positive given the zero development that has been attempted in terms of exploiting the potential of mediation and raising the quality of mediatiors.

Read the full article [here].
read more "Family Mediation Pilot Gets Mixed Results"

Ombuds News

(Note, ADR news will be featured next week)

Questioning The Australian (NSW) OmbudsmanDoes it Help Minority University Students in Australia?
The role of the Ombudsman is ‘to safeguard the rights of citizens by establishing a supervisory agency independent of the executive branch’. Unlike Sweden – where an Ombudsman was first established in 1809 –, in Australian, the Ombudsman is a tool of the executive branch to legitimate and protect corruption and maladministration......
The Australia Ombudsman is a government-funded office. The claim that it acts “independently” is a shame. The Ombudsman lacks impartiality and honesty. Its primary aim is to act against public interest by protecting the government and its agencies and cover-up maladministration. The annual Ombudsman report which often publishes few investigated cases is a fraud designed to mislead the public. In addition, having an Ombudsman protects Australia’s manufactured image....
When the student made a complaint to the NSW Ombudsman against the unfair and rather racist conduct of the University of Western Sydney, the Ombudsman took its time and never consulted with the student.Read the full opinion article by Ghali Hassan from CounterCurrents.org [here].

TDSB trustee decries plan for board ombudsman
'Clear Conflict'

Outspoken trustee Josh Matlow is attacking a proposal by Toronto District School Board chief Chris Spence to introduce an ombudsman who reports to the education director, and not the board.
"If the ombudsman is reporting to the very institution that he or she is being asked to oversee and which pays their salary and budget, there's a clear conflict and also, at the very least, it creates an appearance of bias," said Mr. Matlow, who is lobbying the TDSB to instead ask the province to allow school boards to fall under the jurisdiction of the provincial ombudsman, Andre Marin.

Full article [here]

NPR Ombudsman: Tea-Bag Cartoon is 'Mean-Spirited,' Lacks NPR's 'Core Values' of Civility
On Friday, NPR Ombudsman Alicia Shepard reported a flood of angry calls and e-mails from conservatives about the NPR website’s "How to Speak Tea Bag" cartoon. Shepard found "there are problems with the Tea Bag animation." For example:
Chief among them is it doesn't fit with NPR values, one of which is a belief in civility and civil discourse. [Cartoonist Mark] Fiore is talented, but this cartoon is just a mean-spirited attack on people who think differently than he does and doesn't broaden the debate. It engages in the same kind of name-calling the cartoon supposedly mocks.

Full article [here]

Sourcing of Article Awkward For Paper
Facing criticism for publishing the work of a start-up news organization, The Washington Post said Tuesday that it should have disclosed more about the group’s financier and his connections, and the paper’s ombudsman said he was looking into the relationship.
The start-up, The Fiscal Times, covers economic issues, with a particular focus on the
federal budget, the growing deficit and efforts to rein in health care and Social Security spending. Its financing was provided by Peter G. Peterson, the billionaire investment banker who advocates deficit reduction and restrictions on entitlement programs.
On Dec. 31, The Post published the first news article produced by The Fiscal Times, a report on the support in Washington for a proposed deficit-reduction commission. The primary expert quoted in the article is from the Concord Coalition, whose mission is also balanced budgets and limits on safety-net spending.

Full article [here]

Tom Frazier: So ... what's it like being ombudsman?
In case you want to know, read more [here]

Ombudsman saving Paulding money and students
The Paulding County School District is realizing significant cost savings and improving the alternative education program for at-risk students, say school officials.
When the board approved a contract with Ombudsman Education Services to replace the alternative school operated by the district starting in August 2008, the goal was to realize cost savings of up to $700,000 per year while providing quality education for at-risk students.
Read more [here]

University Of Louisville To Create Ombuds Office
Robert Felner, former University of Louisville dean of education, pleaded guilty Friday to nine federal charges, including income tax evasion, and agreed to serve 63 months in prison in connection with defrauding U of L and another university of $2.3 million.
...UofL acknowledges mistakes were made, and noted the university has taken several steps to fix problems identified by the investigation, including a revamping of its grievance process, review of faculty governance procedures and creation of an Ombuds Office to address faculty concerns and complaints. “The university has owned up to its mistakes and we're ready to move on,” he said.
Full article [here]
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Mediators Beyond Borders, Web Panel Discussion

Join EnjoyMediation.com’s Jeff Thompson as he host’s his first web panel discussion of the year. Find out about Mediators Beyond Borders- how it started, what they have been up and all the different ways you can get involved.

What: Web panel discussion
When: THURSDAY, JANUARY 21st, 3-3:30pm, Eastern Standard Time.
Where: Anywhere/everywhere. It’s online, so it doesn’t matter where you are.
Cost: Free! Yes, it’s free but you must sign up and spots are limited. See below.
Supported By:
Werner Institute of Negotiation & Dispute Resolution, School of Law, Creighton University

Jeff will be joined by Kenneth Cloke, President of MBB and other members of MBB to hear from them what they have been doing on behalf of Mediators Beyond Borders. They will also explain the many different ways you can get involved as a support, mediator, or student.

Join us in this new innovative series which allows you to engage in the discussion. No longer are you are the silent audience member (although that is still allowed if you wish!), but you now have the option to interactive with the panel by asking questions via video/audio and text box chat. Other features with this interactive technology include ‘white board’ technology. If you do not have access to a computer, you can still call in via the old fashioned phone in option.

Not sure about technology and if you know how to work it? No worries, just ask, we will happily help you out.

Make sure it works prior by checking out our archived event from Cyber Week 2009 [here].

Spots are limited so sign up now emailing Jeff: mediator.jeff [at] gmail.com or add your comment including your name and email at the bottom (don't worry, comments on this page are private)

Can’t make it? Don’t worry, the event will archived in its original format to view online as well as a MP4 file so you can download it.

Learn more:
Werner Institute of Negotiation & Dispute Resolution, School of Law, Creighton University
Host, Jeff Thompson
MBB President, Kenneth Cloke

Enjoy Mediation
Mediator’s Beyond Borders






read more "Mediators Beyond Borders, Web Panel Discussion"

Web Panel Discussion

Recent Web Panel Discussions:
Mediators Beyond Borders [January/2010] Original Format [here] (just enter a name under participant) or the embedded version [here]. I recommend the original version.

Web 2.0 Discussion [November/2009]- read more [here] and view the archive [here].

A new series from Enjoy Mediation offers everyone an opportunity to engage other professionals, scholars and practitioners from the ADR field. Find out what others are doing, why they are doing it and how you can either get involved or incorporate their successes into your practice.

This new service is perfect for students, 'newbies' to ADR and people looking to get into the ADR profession.

For the established ADR practitioner/scholar/professional, learn and hear from the people and organizations in a new way that has not been offered before. You are no longer limited to attending costly conferences and limited tele-conferences.

This series is free for people to participate and will also be archived for those who can not be there their live. For those who are able to make it live, it is not just a phone conference call. Enjoy Mediation embraces new technology which means you get to listen, and watch online. The technology also features text chatting and 'white board' technology.

See an example of how it works [here] and also see it works on your computer. For those who still enjoy phone conference calls, you have that option too!

Have Questions? Let me know by leaving feedback here below or emailing me: mediator.jeff [at] gmail.com
read more "Web Panel Discussion"

18 Opportunities to Learn!


What's better than 16 opportunities to learn? 18 of course!

Please see below the update to this [post].


Yes, I do realize this really only applies to the readers in the NYC metro area but maybe for the Fall '10 Program it will also include an online element? For the time being, fellow New Yorkers, enjoy!...I also know many of the instructors and wish them success and the participants too!



THE JOHN JAY COLLEGE CONTINUING EDUCATION PROGRAM
and the
THE CUNY DISPUTE RESOLUTION CONSORTIUM at JOHN JAY COLLEGE
announce a series of eighteen
Conflict Resolution Workshops
Spring 2010


John Jay College is pleased to announce a series of non-credit workshops focusing on skills, tools, and credentials to better understand, manage and resolve conflicts. These workshops are for everyone: professionals who would like to refresh or develop new skills and individuals who are interested in exploring new ways of handling conflicts. Each workshop is led by a recognized expert and presents state of the art information and skills.

To register or for more information:
Phone: (212) 237-8663
Email: CEP@JJay.cuny.edu
Website:
www.jjay.cuny.edu/ce (click on conflict resolution)


Managing Conflict in the Workplace: Effective Communication Skills
All Employees can benefit from better understanding the causes of conflict and how to respond to conflict situations with better communication tools. Become aware of your emotional triggers to prevent explosive situations. Learn new strategies of conflict management that will improve your communication performance and help you to respond to conflict more effectively. Participants will explore and practice utilizing skills in the workplace to create healthy relationships with colleagues and clients.
Instructor: Meridith Gould
Monday, January 11, 6:30 – 8:30 pm; $30 for course

Conflict Resolution Skills Training
All of us face conflict on a daily basis - with coworkers, family members and friends. Knowing what to say and do during those stressful times often makes the difference between escalating conflict or resolving the issue effectively and improving your relationship in the process. This two-day training will teach you the necessary skills to anticipate, manage and resolve conflicts in a way that protects your interests and preserves your relationships. These valuable conflict resolution skills are usually taught as part of the professional mediation training. Due to popular demand, we are offering an opportunity to learn these skills in only two days. After taking this course you will know: how to use conflict as a positive force for change; the five conflict resolution styles, your most- and least- used styles; how our brain experiences conflict; the power of nonverbal communication; the four levels of listening; how to ask power questions that elicit helpful information.
Instructors: Alex Yaroslavsky, Elizabeth Clemants, Michelle M. Leonard
Fridays, January 15 & 22, 10:00 am - 6:00 pm; $495 for the course


Conflict Resolution Programs for Urban Youth: a Model for Success
Conflict resolution programs are implemented in schools, after-school programs and community centers. However, many of the programs are mass produced and not relevant to the students they serve. Youth workers/educators will learn how to create programs for youth that are effective, fun and sustainable. They will learn the “best practices” that are needed to create, implement and sustain conflict resolution and empowerment programs for urban youth in New York. Participants will learn how to craft curricula that is systemic and transformative for urban youth in the city.
Instructor: Meridith Gould
Wednesday, January 20, 6:30 – 8:30 pm; $30 for course


Conflict Dynamics Profile® Certification Workshop
Become a Certified User of the Conflict Dynamics Profile® (CDP) and add another valuable tool as an ADR practitioner and professional in the workplace. The Leadership Development Center at Eckerd College has developed a multi-rater (360°) assessment tool that helps leaders, managers and teams develop conflict competence. Unlike other conflict assessments, the CDP assesses specific behaviors and offers action plans to develop constructive conflict behaviors for productive conflict engagement. Certified CDP users can administer the 360° or individual online CDP to work with individuals, teams, and organizations. Workshop content: The Conflict Dynamics Profile® Certification Workshop prepares participants to use the CDP in their professional practice. Participants explore conflict, conflict stages, hot buttons, specific conflict behaviors, conflict behavior analysis, coaching skills to offer feedback, and individual and organizational constructive conflict engagement and collaboration. This workshop includes administration of the Conflict Dynamics Profile, personal CDP results, sample reports, technical manual, and a CD containing A-V materials for conducting training workshops.
Instructor: Rita Callahan
Saturday, January 23, 9:00 am – 4:00 pm; $525 for course



Professional Mediation Training
This unique mediation course is for anyone considering becoming a mediator. After completing this course you will be able to: Understand and refine your conflict resolution style; Manage conflict with confidence, using proven techniques; Conduct successful mediations in a variety of settings.
Instructors: Alex Yaroslavsky, Elizabeth Clemants and Michelle Leonard
Fridays, January 15 & 22 (10:00 am – 6:00 pm), Thursdays, February 4 – May 6, 6:00 – 8:30 pm; $1,195 for course


Conflict Resolution and Mediation Skill Exercises for Trainers
Join your colleagues to add to your repertoire of training exercises for your conflict resolution and mediation trainings. Participants will learn and practice training exercises to demonstrate specific conflict resolution and mediation skills that can be used in your training courses. Identify, understand and practice exercises to illustrate silence, listening, open-ended questions, listening for emotions and needs, win-win, change, specificity, and other skills. Participants will discuss and refine training exercises and will practice offering feedback about the exercises.
Instructor: Rita Callahan
Wednesdays, February 17 & 24, 6:30 – 8:00 pm; $50 for course


A Short Introduction to the Transformative Model of Mediation
The purpose of this 4-session, 6-hour workshop is to expose those who have taken facilitative mediation or related undergraduate courses to the Transformative Model of Mediation by discussing the Relational Worldview the model espouses, identifying human perceptions of what it is like being IN conflict, articulating the transformative tools of intervention and practicing them in role plays. While this is not a complete Transformative Mediation training, it exposes participants to an approach to mediation that many misunderstand and provides an opportunity to experience it with the ultimate goal of taking a more comprehensive training. Components of the training include: Personal Views of Conflict (exercise), Conflict: A Crisis in Human Interaction (lecture and discussion), Opportunities for Empowerment and Recognition Shifts (lecture and discussion), Tools of Intervention (combination of lecture and multiple exercises): Reflect, Summarize, Check in, Question, Silence and Role Plays (exercises).
Instructor: Julie Denny
Tuesdays, March 2 – 23, 6:30 – 8:00 pm; $135 for course


Negotiating Agreements to Get Results
The “core of negotiation” is the give-and-take process utilized to reach agreement. Although this complex process is very important, most of the critical factors that shape negotiations don’t occur during the bargaining process, they occur before the parties face each other. This 2-session 4 hour workshop will focus on the planning stages and strategies of negotiation, BATNAs, individual perceptions, identifying and distinguishing between issues, needs, interests and opinions. Components of this training include interactive experiences that will highlight: varying communication styles, tactics and ploys, and distributive and integrative negotiations.
Instructor: Sam Blank
Wednesdays, March 17 & 24, 6:30 – 8:30 pm; $50 for course



Body, Heart, Mind: Somatics and Conflict Resolution
This 41⁄2 hour experiential workshop series introduces participants to physical/verbal conflict resolution (“embodied peacemaking”) basics. Each of the following 3 sessions is a stand-alone course; together they introduce somatics as a peace building discipline.
$35 for each course; $90 for series

Body Awareness for Conflict Resolution: The body’s natural response to conflict is contraction or collapse of breathing, posture and attention, which in emotional terms is fear, anger or dissociation. In this workshop, you will be introduced to somatic exercises for creating a mind/body state of expansiveness, calm alertness, and compassionate power. These body awareness skills will enable you to prevent the contraction/collapse response and instead maintain a peaceful body and mind during conflicts, which will provide a foundation for resolving conflicts in harmonious and productive ways.
Instructor: Paul Linden
Monday, March 22, 6:30 – 8:00 pm; $35 for course.

Transforming Conflict into Connection and Healing:

In conflicts, we get caught up in reactions and stories. By losing contact with natural and relaxed states of being, we have difficulty responding compassionately and effectively in conflict. In this workshop, you will learn ways to tap your physical, cognitive and emotional resources and thereby improve your ability to quickly recover a centered presence when you are challenged and fearful. This will enable you to be alive to own your needs and those of others. Sharing the sense of human contact provides a foundation for developing win/win resolution of conflicts.
Instructor: David Weinstock

Tuesday, March 23, 6:30 – 8:00 pm; $35 for course

Peace Dojos for Nonviolence Development:

This workshop will present the concept of Peace Dojo methods experientially through both word and movement (a dojo setting). You will learn to use your whole self—body, mind and heart—for conflict resolution. The class will present verbal and physical methods of Affirmation, Attention and Community to Transform Conflict into Empathy and Compassion.
Instructor: William Leicht
Wednesday, March 24, 6:30 – 8:00 pm; $35 for course

Negotiating Under Pressure
This course will provide participants with a unique opportunity to learn lessons from police hostage negotiations, where every situation is a crisis that usually involves violence and weapons, and intuition is essential for resolving each one. People generally go into a wide range of negotiations with a preconceived notion of how they would like them to turn out. The goal is to attempt to find some common ground and/or figure out a way to reach a compromise. You will sharpen your negotiating skills by learning how the police hostage negotiators negotiate some of the most stressful and high profile situations.
Instructor: Jack Cambria
Thursdays, April 8 – 29, 6:30 – 8:00 pm; $125 for course



Effective Negotiation Skills for Getting Ahead
Negotiation skills are at the core of this interactive workshop. The course will enable the participants to get through the stages of bargaining to agreement and it will explore how “Getting to Yes!” can be reached in diverse situations, whether it is a new deal for a house, a car, or even an increase in pay. The workshop is a step-by-step, How-to-approach for skillfully taking each negotiation from engagement to agreement. Through experiential training it will provide the knowledge and insights needed to overcome animosities, turn confrontation into collaboration and to improve existing negotiation skills to achieve successful outcomes. It includes Active Listening, Probing, Assessing Context and Content and much more. The course is designed for managers, professionals and others who wish to enhance their negotiation skills.
Instructor: José Pascal da Rocha
Wednesdays, April 7 – May 5, 6:30 – 8:00 pm & Saturday, May 1; 9:00 am – 4:00 pm (Intensive role-playing session); $150 for course


Conflict in Film
Every good story has at least one conflict in it. Films screened during the course will offer viewers a variety of opportunities to understand conflict and to gain important and interesting insights into our society, and globally. This workshop is a unique opportunity to screen and discuss selected fiction film and documentaries that address a variety of simple and complex situations that involve a variety of conflicts, transgressions, human rights violations, and social justice issues.
Instructor: Jill Strauss
Wednesdays, April 14 - May 5, 6:30 – 8:30 pm; $95 for course


Bias Awareness
This workshop will look at many different biases and look at the personal, cultural and institutional forms of these biases. We will also examine ways that we have experienced bias and practice methods for interpreting bias. We will close with ways we can make our work environments safer and more welcoming for everyone.
Instructor: Priscilla Prutzman
Monday, April 19, 6:30 - 8:00 pm; $25 for the course


Verbal Judo: the Gentle Art of Persuasion
A comprehensive course originally developed for law enforcement professionals by Dr. George Thompson, himself a former university professor, police officer and martial artist. Verbal Judo is an amalgamation of western style persuasive speaking and eastern martial arts philosophy. This course will creatively examine methods to ameliorate conflict, ramp down the false ego and raise authentic and legitimate self-esteem. The goal of Verbal Judo is to generate voluntary compliance through the use of presence and words. Verbal Judo can be taught and utilized by anyone who realizes that "people skills" are perishable and at a premium in this complicated and confusing world.
Instructor: James Shanahan
Saturday, April 24, 10:00 am - 1:00 pm; $55 for the course


Managing Anger in Personal and Professional Relationships
This is an interactive experience geared to help participants learn additional ways to manage their own anger, as well as to help others to better handle this emotion. The purpose of this 2-session, 3-hour workshop is to explore a variety of ideas relating to anger and anger management. Different activities will be used to help participants understand and put this information to work in different relationships.
Instructor: Dave Wolffe
Tuesday & Thursday, May 18 & 20, 6:45 – 8:15 pm; $50 for course


Mediation in Your Workplace: The Most Effective, Least Expensive and Most Pleasant Way to Deal with Workplace Conflicts
Conflict and disputes in workplaces are inevitable. Whether over work ethic, culture, management style, perceived unfairness in treatment or promotions, or simply personality clashes, there are so many kinds of work problems. And all of them can be destructive to those involved and get in the way of the work that needs to be done. Many organizations have already instituted mediation as a dispute resolution process to try to nip such problems in the bud. If your workplace does not yet do so, you may be able to help bring mediation in. This interactive course will explain and demonstrate what mediation is and show how you can utilize it in your place of work.
Instructor: Nancy Kramer
Tuesday, May 25, 6:30 – 9:30 pm; $55 for course


***
Instructors’ Bios

Sam Blank is certified as a conflict resolution specialist by the International Center for Cooperation and Conflict Resolution and the State of New York. He is a member of the faculty at Pace University’s Graduate School of Leadership and at the Borough of Manhattan Community College of the City University of New York.

Rita Callahan, Principal of Working It Out, is a collaboration and conflict management consultant who works with individuals, companies and organizations to improve interpersonal and organizational communication, and to develop the ability of people, groups and companies to manage conflict and to collaborate effectively.

Jack Cambria, the Commanding Officer of the NYPD’s Hostage Negotiation Team (HNT), is a highly decorated, 27-year veteran of the New York City Police Department and has commanded the HNT for eight years. He also has a total of 16 years experience with the NYPD’s elite Emergency Services Unit.

Elizabeth Clemants, MSW is the founder and principal of DRAFT, a unique business that combines social work, life coaching and mediation to help people work through internal or external conflicts and create positive change in their personal and professional lives. Ms. Clemants is the former senior director of the Safe Horizon Mediation Program and has been a state-certified basic mediation trainer since 2000.

José Pascal da Rocha, JD is an international mediator. He has over 16 years of experience in multinational crisis intervention and at the corporate level. Apart from his practice, he teaches conflict resolution at diverse universities around the globe. His latest publication is “Inclusion and Diversity as an Intercultural Task – An Essay” in Diversity, Equality and Inclusion – a Research Compendium, Chattenham: Edward Elgar Press, 2009. He is a Professor at Columbia University, a UN mediator at the Mediation Support Unit and he lives in Brooklyn. For more info, go to
http://web.me.com/josepascaldarocha.

Julie Denny, an Advanced Practitioner member of both the Workplace and Family sections of the Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR), is also a mediation panelist for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), the U.S. Postal Service, the Transportation Security Administration and the Key Bridge foundation ADA program. A regular reviewer of books on conflict resolution and mediation for Library Journal, Julie has also been featured in Court TV and Bloomberg Network segments on mediation, and been interviewed on a number of radio talk shows. She is also an Associate of the Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation.

Meridith Gould has over 12 years of experience in training and consulting. She has an MS in Dispute Resolution and is a Doctoral Candidate in Conflict Analysis and Resolution. Her expertise focuses on training/workshop youth empowerment, inner-city youth, violence prevention, social and emotional skill building and educational issues.

Nancy Kramer is an attorney and mediator who has handled hundreds of workplace disputes, as well as other kinds. She does private mediations and is an active employment mediation panel member for groups, including the American Arbitration Association (AAA), United States Postal Service, New Jersey Superior Court, New York City Office of Administrative Trials and Hearings (OATH) and New York County Supreme Court, Commercial Division.

William Leicht, M.A., founded the Bronx Peace Dojo and Peace Dojos International. He is a conflict resolution professional and aikidoist with an international reputation.

Michelle M. Leonard is the director of mediation services at Community Mediation Services (CMS). Michelle is a certified basic mediation and custody and visitation mediation trainer, as well as an adjunct professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. Michelle graduated magna cum laude from Touro Law Center and is admitted to the New York and New Jersey Bars.

Paul Linden, Ph.D. is a specialist in body awareness education. Dr. Linden is the developer of Being In Movement® mindbody training, co-founder of the Columbus Center for Movement Studies in Columbus, Ohio, a sixth degree black belt in Aikido and a first degree black belt in Karate, an instructor of the Feldenkrais Method® of somatic education and the author of a number of e-books.

Priscilla Prutzman, Co-Founder and Executive Director of Creative Response to Conflict, is co-author of The Friendly Classroom for a Small Planet, the recipient of many awards for her distinguished career in conflict resolution, and has taught courses in assertiveness training, conflict resolution, mediation and bias awareness for colleges including City College of New York, St. Thomas Aquinas College in Sparkill, NY, State University of New York at New Paltz, and Woodbury College in Montpelier, VT. She worked with women’s groups and homeless children in the Philippines and taught workshops and courses in the former Yugoslavia, Peru, and Costa Rica.

James Shanahan is a decorated veteran with nearly thirty years in law enforcement. He is a detective, police trainer and hostage negotiator who holds advanced and specialized certification in conflict resolution, critical incident stress and disaster management. James is a member of the adjunct faculty at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, where he teaches the Emergency Psychological Technician program to police recruits, In-Service police officers, Emergency Service and Hostage Negotiations Team personnel, as well as newly promoted supervisors of all ranks. Additionally, he is an accomplished TV, stage and screen actor and a lifelong practitioner of traditional Japanese martial arts.

Jill Strauss is an Adjunct Professor in the Dispute Resolution Program at John Jay College. She has a Master of Education in Peace Education and Conflict Resolution, and her PhD research and fieldwork is on art and conflict.

David Weinstock, co-founder of Liminal Somatics and originator of the Somatic Consensus method, is a certified Somatic Coach through the Strozzi Institute, a Life Coach, a facilitator of Nonviolent Communication, and an Aikido teacher. He leads trainings locally and around the world— in prisons, and communities on four continents. David is based in Seattle, Washington.

Dave Wolffe is an adjunct lecturer at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. He is founder and program coordinator of Peace Enhancement Attained-Collaborative Efforts (P.E.A.C.E.) Inc. Mr. Wolffe also developed a training format and manual for facilitators of the Anger Management Power (AMP) Program. He is currently working on a “how-to” guide for parents, educators and others involved with teens, to empower young people to manage anger in positive ways. The guide is due to be published in 2010.

Alex Yaroslavsky, MILR is the founder of Yaro Group, LLC, a dispute resolution consultancy specializing in workplace conflict resolution. Alex teaches dispute resolution at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice and serves on several mediation and arbitration panels, including the NYC CCRB, OATH, FINRA, and the U.S. Bankruptcy Court (Southern District). Alex has been working in the alternative dispute resolution field since 1994 and regularly trains and coaches new mediators.


WORKSHOP SERIES COORDINATION
Terrence Harris, MPA, Program Director of Continuing Education
Judith Kornberg, PhD, Dean of Continuing and Professional Education
Maria R. Volpe, PhD, Professor of Sociology and Director, Dispute Resolution Program
read more "18 Opportunities to Learn!"

16 Opportunities To Learn In NYC



Yes, I do realize this really only applies to the readers in the NYC metro area but maybe for the Fall '10 Program it will also include an online element? For the time being, fellow New Yorkers, enjoy!

...I also know many of the instructors and wish them success and the participants too!


THE JOHN JAY COLLEGE CONTINUING EDUCATION PROGRAM
and the
THE CUNY DISPUTE RESOLUTION CONSORTIUM at JOHN JAY COLLEGE
announce a series of sixteen
Conflict Resolution Workshops
Spring 2010


John Jay College is pleased to announce a series of non-credit workshops focusing on skills, tools, and credentials to better understand, manage and resolve conflicts. These workshops are for everyone: professionals who would like to refresh or develop new skills and individuals who are interested in exploring new ways of handling conflicts. Each workshop is led by a recognized expert and presents state of the art information and skills.

To register or for more information:
Phone: (212) 237-8663
Email: CEP@JJay.cuny.edu
Website: www.jjay.cuny.edu/ce (click on conflict resolution)

Managing Conflict in the Workplace: Effective Communication Skills
All Employees can benefit from better understanding the causes of conflict and how to respond to conflict situations with better communication tools. Become aware of your emotional triggers to prevent explosive situations. Learn new strategies of conflict management that will improve your communication performance and help you to respond to conflict more effectively. Participants will explore and practice utilizing skills in the workplace to create healthy relationships with colleagues and clients.
Instructor: Meridith Gould
Monday, January 11, 6:30 – 8:30 pm; $30 for course

Conflict Resolution Skills Training
All of us face conflict on a daily basis - with coworkers, family members and friends. Knowing what to say and do during those stressful times often makes the difference between escalating conflict or resolving the issue effectively and improving your relationship in the process. This two-day training will teach you the necessary skills to anticipate, manage and resolve conflicts in a way that protects your interests and preserves your relationships. These valuable conflict resolution skills are usually taught as part of the professional mediation training. Due to popular demand, we are offering an opportunity to learn these skills in only two days. After taking this course you will know: how to use conflict as a positive force for change; the five conflict resolution styles, your most- and least- used styles; how our brain experiences conflict; the power of nonverbal communication; the four levels of listening; how to ask power questions that elicit helpful information.
Instructors: Alex Yaroslavsky, Elizabeth Clemants, Michelle M. Leonard
Fridays, January 15 & 22, 10:00 am - 6:00 pm; $495 for the course


Conflict Resolution Programs for Urban Youth: a Model for Success
Conflict resolution programs are implemented in schools, after-school programs and community centers. However, many of the programs are mass produced and not relevant to the students they serve. Youth workers/educators will learn how to create programs for youth that are effective, fun and sustainable. They will learn the “best practices” that are needed to create, implement and sustain conflict resolution and empowerment programs for urban youth in New York. Participants will learn how to craft curricula that is systemic and transformative for urban youth in the city.
Instructor: Meridith Gould
Wednesday, January 20, 6:30 – 8:30 pm; $30 for course

Conflict Dynamics Profile® Certification Workshop
Become a Certified User of the Conflict Dynamics Profile® (CDP) and add another valuable tool as an ADR practitioner and professional in the workplace. The Leadership Development Center at Eckerd College has developed a multi-rater (360°) assessment tool that helps leaders, managers and teams develop conflict competence. Unlike other conflict assessments, the CDP assesses specific behaviors and offers action plans to develop constructive conflict behaviors for productive conflict engagement. Certified CDP users can administer the 360° or individual online CDP to work with individuals, teams, and organizations. Workshop content: The Conflict Dynamics Profile® Certification Workshop prepares participants to use the CDP in their professional practice. Participants explore conflict, conflict stages, hot buttons, specific conflict behaviors, conflict behavior analysis, coaching skills to offer feedback, and individual and organizational constructive conflict engagement and collaboration. This workshop includes administration of the Conflict Dynamics Profile, personal CDP results, sample reports, technical manual, and a CD containing A-V materials for conducting training workshops.
Instructor: Rita Callahan
Saturday, January 20, 9:00 am – 4:00 pm; $525 for course


Professional Mediation Training
This unique mediation course is for anyone considering becoming a mediator. After completing this course you will be able to: Understand and refine your conflict resolution style; Manage conflict with confidence, using proven techniques; Conduct successful mediations in a variety of settings.
Instructors: Alex Yaroslavsky, Elizabeth Clemants and Michelle Leonard
Fridays, January 15 & 22 (10:00 am – 6:00 pm), Thursdays, February 4 – May 6, 6:00 – 8:30 pm; $1,195 for course

Conflict Resolution and Mediation Skill Exercises for Trainers
Join your colleagues to add to your repertoire of training exercises for your conflict resolution and mediation trainings. Participants will learn and practice training exercises to demonstrate specific conflict resolution and mediation skills that can be used in your training courses. Identify, understand and practice exercises to illustrate silence, listening, open-ended questions, listening for emotions and needs, win-win, change, specificity, and other skills. Participants will discuss and refine training exercises and will practice offering feedback about the exercises.
Instructor: Rita Callahan
Wednesdays, February 17 & 24, 6:30 – 8:00 pm; $50 for course


A Short Introduction to the Transformative Model of Mediation
The purpose of this 4-session, 6-hour workshop is to expose those who have taken facilitative mediation or related undergraduate courses to the Transformative Model of Mediation by discussing the Relational Worldview the model espouses, identifying human perceptions of what it is like being IN conflict, articulating the transformative tools of intervention and practicing them in role plays. While this is not a complete Transformative Mediation training, it exposes participants to an approach to mediation that many misunderstand and provides an opportunity to experience it with the ultimate goal of taking a more comprehensive training. Components of the training include: Personal Views of Conflict (exercise), Conflict: A Crisis in Human Interaction (lecture and discussion), Opportunities for Empowerment and Recognition Shifts (lecture and discussion), Tools of Intervention (combination of lecture and multiple exercises): Reflect, Summarize, Check in, Question, Silence and Role Plays (exercises).
Instructor: Julie Denny
Tuesdays, March 16 – April 16, 6:30 – 8:00 pm; $135 for course


Negotiating Agreements to Get Results
The “core of negotiation” is the give-and-take process utilized to reach agreement. Although this complex process is very important, most of the critical factors that shape negotiations don’t occur during the bargaining process, they occur before the parties face each other. This 2-session 4 hour workshop will focus on the planning stages and strategies of negotiation, BATNAs, individual perceptions, identifying and distinguishing between issues, needs, interests and opinions. Components of this training include interactive experiences that will highlight: varying communication styles, tactics and ploys, and distributive and integrative negotiations.
Instructor: Sam Blank
Wednesdays, March 17 & 24, 6:30 – 8:30 pm; $50 for course

Body, Heart, Mind: Somatics and Conflict Resolution
This 41⁄2 hour experiential workshop series introduces participants to physical/verbal conflict resolution (“embodied peacemaking”) basics. Each session is a stand-alone course; together they introduce somatics as a peace building discipline.
Instructors: William Leicht, Paul Linden and David Weinstock
Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday, March 22 - 24, 6:30 – 8:00 pm; $75 for course

Negotiating Under Pressure
This course will provide participants with a unique opportunity to learn lessons from police hostage negotiations, where every situation is a crisis that usually involves violence and weapons, and intuition is essential for resolving each one. People generally go into a wide range of negotiations with a preconceived notion of how they would like them to turn out. The goal is to attempt to find some common ground and/or figure out a way to reach a compromise. You will sharpen your negotiating skills by learning how the police hostage negotiators negotiate some of the most stressful and high profile situations.
Instructor: Jack Cambria
Thursdays, April 1 – 22, 6:30 – 8:00 pm; $125 for course

Effective Negotiation Skills for Getting Ahead
Negotiation skills are at the core of this interactive workshop. The course will enable the participants to get through the stages of bargaining to agreement and it will explore how “Getting to Yes!” can be reached in diverse situations, whether it is a new deal for a house, a car, or even an increase in pay. The workshop is a step-by-step, How-to-approach for skillfully taking each negotiation from engagement to agreement. Through experiential training it will provide the knowledge and insights needed to overcome animosities, turn confrontation into collaboration and to improve existing negotiation skills to achieve successful outcomes. It includes Active Listening, Probing, Assessing Context and Content and much more. The course is designed for managers, professionals and others who wish to enhance their negotiation skills.
Instructor: José Pascal da Rocha
Wednesdays, April 7 – May 5, 6:30 – 8:00 pm & Saturday, May 1; 9:00 am – 4:00 pm (Intensive role-playing session); $150 for course


Bias Awareness
This workshop will look at many different biases and look at the personal, cultural and institutional forms of these biases. We will also examine ways that we have experienced bias and practice methods for interpreting bias. We will close with ways we can make our work environments safer and more welcoming for everyone.
Instructor: Priscilla Prutzman
Monday, April 19, 6:30 - 8:00 pm; $25 for the course


Verbal Judo: the Gentle Art of Persuasion
A comprehensive course originally developed for law enforcement professionals by Dr. George Thompson, himself a former university professor, police officer and martial artist. Verbal Judo is an amalgamation of western style persuasive speaking and eastern martial arts philosophy. This course will creatively examine methods to ameliorate conflict, ramp down the false ego and raise authentic and legitimate self-esteem. The goal of Verbal Judo is to generate voluntary compliance through the use of presence and words. Verbal Judo can be taught and utilized by anyone who realizes that "people skills" are perishable and at a premium in this complicated and confusing world.
Instructor: James Shanahan
Saturday, April 24, 10:00 am - 1:00 pm; $55 for the course

Conflict in Film
Every good story has at least one conflict in it. Films screened during the course will offer viewers a variety of opportunities to understand conflict and to gain important and interesting insights into our society, and globally. This workshop is a unique opportunity to screen and discuss selected fiction film and documentaries that address a variety of simple and complex situations that involve a variety of conflicts, transgressions, human rights violations, and social justice issues.
Instructor: Jill Strauss
Wednesday, April 28, 6:30 – 8:30 pm; $30 for course


Managing Anger in Personal and Professional Relationships
This is an interactive experience geared to help participants learn additional ways to manage their own anger, as well as to help others to better handle this emotion. The purpose of this 2-session, 3-hour workshop is to explore a variety of ideas relating to anger and anger management. Different activities will be used to help participants understand and put this information to work in different relationships.
Instructor: Dave Wolffe
Tuesday & Thursday, May 18 & 20, 6:45 – 8:15 pm; $50 for course


Mediation in Your Workplace: The Most Effective, Least Expensive and Most Pleasant Way to Deal with Workplace Conflicts
Conflict and disputes in workplaces are inevitable. Whether over work ethic, culture, management style, perceived unfairness in treatment or promotions, or simply personality clashes, there are so many kinds of work problems. And all of them can be destructive to those involved and get in the way of the work that needs to be done. Many organizations have already instituted mediation as a dispute resolution process to try to nip such problems in the bud. If your workplace does not yet do so, you may be able to help bring mediation in. This interactive course will explain and demonstrate what mediation is and show how you can utilize it in your place of work.
Instructor: Nancy Kramer
Tuesday, May 25, 6:30 – 9:30 pm; $55 for course

Instructors’ Bios

Sam Blank
is certified as a conflict resolution specialist by the International Center for Cooperation and Conflict Resolution and the State of New York. He is a member of the faculty at Pace University’s Graduate School of Leadership and at the Borough of Manhattan Community College of the City University of New York.

Rita Callahan, Principal of Working It Out, is a collaboration and conflict management consultant who works with individuals, companies and organizations to improve interpersonal and organizational communication, and to develop the ability of people, groups and companies to manage conflict and to collaborate effectively.

Jack Cambria, the Commanding Officer of the NYPD’s Hostage Negotiation Team (HNT), is a highly decorated, 27-year veteran of the New York City Police Department and has commanded the HNT for eight years. He also has a total of 16 years experience with the NYPD’s elite Emergency Services Unit.

Elizabeth Clemants, MSW is the founder and principal of DRAFT, a unique business that combines social work, life coaching and mediation to help people work through internal or external conflicts and create positive change in their personal and professional lives. Ms. Clemants is the former senior director of the Safe Horizon Mediation Program and has been a state-certified basic mediation trainer since 2000.

José Pascal da Rocha, JD is an international mediator. He has over 16 years of experience in multinational crisis intervention and at the corporate level. Apart from his practice, he teaches conflict resolution at diverse universities around the globe. His latest publication is “Inclusion and Diversity as an Intercultural Task – An Essay” in Diversity, Equality and Inclusion – a Research Compendium, Chattenham: Edward Elgar Press, 2009. He is a Professor at Columbia University, a UN mediator at the Mediation Support Unit and he lives in Brooklyn. For more info, go to http://web.me.com/josepascaldarocha.

Julie Denny, an Advanced Practitioner member of both the Workplace and Family sections of the Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR), is also a mediation panelist for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), the U.S. Postal Service, the Transportation Security Administration and the Key Bridge foundation ADA program. A regular reviewer of books on conflict resolution and mediation for Library Journal, Julie has also been featured in Court TV and Bloomberg Network segments on mediation, and been interviewed on a number of radio talk shows. She is also an Associate of the Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation.

Meridith Gould has over 12 years of experience in training and consulting. She has an MS in Dispute Resolution and is a Doctoral Candidate in Conflict Analysis and Resolution. Her expertise focuses on training/workshop youth empowerment, inner-city youth, violence prevention, social and emotional skill building and educational issues.

Nancy Kramer is an attorney and mediator who has handled hundreds of workplace disputes, as well as other kinds. She does private mediations and is an active employment mediation panel member for groups, including the American Arbitration Association (AAA), United States Postal Service, New Jersey Superior Court, New York City Office of Administrative Trials and Hearings (OATH) and New York County Supreme Court, Commercial Division.

William Leicht, M.A., founded the Bronx Peace Dojo and Peace Dojos International. He is a conflict resolution professional and aikidoist with an international reputation.

Michelle M. Leonard is the director of mediation services at Community Mediation Services (CMS). Michelle is a certified basic mediation and custody and visitation mediation trainer, as well as an adjunct professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. Michelle graduated magna cum laude from Touro Law Center and is admitted to the New York and New Jersey Bars.

Paul Linden, Ph.D. is a specialist in body awareness education. Dr. Linden is the developer of Being In Movement® mindbody training, co-founder of the Columbus Center for Movement Studies in Columbus, Ohio, a sixth degree black belt in Aikido and a first degree black belt in Karate, an instructor of the Feldenkrais Method® of somatic education and the author of a number of e-books.

Priscilla Prutzman, Co-Founder and Executive Director of Creative Response to Conflict, is co-author of The Friendly Classroom for a Small Planet, the recipient of many awards for her distinguished career in conflict resolution, and has taught courses in assertiveness training, conflict resolution, mediation and bias awareness for colleges including City College of New York, St. Thomas Aquinas College in Sparkill, NY, State University of New York at New Paltz, and Woodbury College in Montpelier, VT. She worked with women’s groups and homeless children in the Philippines and taught workshops and courses in the former Yugoslavia, Peru, and Costa Rica.

James Shanahan is a decorated veteran with nearly thirty years in law enforcement. He is a detective, police trainer and hostage negotiator who holds advanced and specialized certification in conflict resolution, critical incident stress and disaster management. James is a member of the adjunct faculty at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, where he teaches the Emergency Psychological Technician program to police recruits, In-Service police officers, Emergency Service and Hostage Negotiations Team personnel, as well as newly promoted supervisors of all ranks. Additionally, he is an accomplished TV, stage and screen actor and a lifelong practitioner of traditional Japanese martial arts.

Jill Strauss is an Adjunct Professor in the Dispute Resolution Program at John Jay College. She has a Master of Education in Peace Education and Conflict Resolution, and her PhD research and fieldwork is on art and conflict.

David Weinstock, co-founder of Liminal Somatics and originator the Somatic Consensus method is a certified Somatic Coach through the Strozzi Institute, a Life Coach, a facilitator of Nonviolent Communication, and an Aikido teacher. He leads trainings locally and around the world— in prisons, and communities on four continents.
Dave Wolffe is an adjunct lecturer at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. He is founder and program coordinator of Peace Enhancement Attained-Collaborative Efforts (P.E.A.C.E.) Inc. Mr. Wolffe also developed a training format and manual for facilitators of the Anger Management Power (AMP) Program. He is currently working on a “how-to” guide for parents, educators and others involved with teens, to empower young people to manage anger in positive ways. The guide is due to be published in 2010.

Alex Yaroslavsky, MILR is the founder of Yaro Group, LLC, a dispute resolution consultancy specializing in workplace conflict resolution. Alex teaches dispute resolution at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice and serves on several mediation and arbitration panels, including the NYC CCRB, OATH, FINRA, and the U.S. Bankruptcy Court (Southern District). Alex has been working in the alternative dispute resolution field since 1994 and regularly trains and coaches new mediators.
read more "16 Opportunities To Learn In NYC"

Feelings


Feelings!

Feelings and emotions are an integral part of any mediation or negotiation. When I give talks or training on mediations involving money disputes, such as credit-card debt cases (read the Newsweek article here), people think it is cut and dry- go back and forth on offers and either there is a deal or no deal.

Yes, maybe some are like that but every mediation, even the ones I have handled which were settled faster than the length of my opening “welcome to mediation” statement, included expressing emotions and feelings. People want to be able to speak, and want to know they have been heard. This is where a mediator really helps with the process. Acknowledging statements by summarizing, validating and reframing are some of the best tools a mediator can have in their toolbox.

Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen wrote the book Difficult Conversations in which Chapter 5 is dedicated to feelings. This chapter explains how important feelings are, how to acknowledge the other person’s feelings and how equally important to express yours.

Some quick tidbits from the chapter:

Feelings are often at the heart of difficult conversations
Allowing feelings to be surfaced increases the chance for the mediation/negotiation to go well.
Unexpressed feelings can leak into the conversation. No one likes leaks, right? Trying to breeze through the mediation and ignoring the feelings present can have them leak, or even worse, burst, and the worst moment. How might they leak out? Through your tone, body language, facial expressions, and silence are all examples.

Unexpressed feelings make it difficult to listen. I am a big advocate of the saying seek to understand before seeking to be understood. It does not mean do not look to be understood, it’s important to realize that is second part of the statement. Holding your feelings in will do no good if you are the one involved in the negotiation. It will keep building up and cloud the mind diminishing your ability to listen effectively.

Unexpressed feelings take a toll on our self-esteem and relationships. Keeping your feelings out of the conversation keeps an important part of you out it.

Learn where your feelings hide. Feelings can be good at hiding and disguising themselves; be a good detective and find them!

Explore your emotional footprint. How were feelings expressed by you and those around you growing up? Were they welcomed and openly shared?

Accept that feelings are normal and natural. Yes, you are odd if you haven’t felt feelings… ever!
Recognize that good people can have bad feelings. I found this one particularly interesting as I often say people are not good or bad but it is their actions which are good and bad. They describe it as, for example, the assumption that good people should not get angry, fail, or a burden.

Learn that you feelings are important as theirs. Some of us can’t see our own feelings because we have learned somewhere along the way that other people’s feelings are more important than ours (page 93).

As mediators, we keep our feelings out of the negotiation between the parties. I find it very important to remind myself, and others, when we are not mediating and are involved in our own difficult conversations or negotiations that it is okay for feelings to be expressed.

My 3 steps in regards to feelings:

1) Recognize feelings. If it’s anger, tell yourself you are angry. Don’t say it’s okay if it isn’t.

2) Understand feelings. Okay, I am angry. Now connect the reasons or contributing factors leading to your anger.

3) Express feelings. Important factors in expressing your feelings in a healthy way include timing and realizing the other person might not know you feel this way and/or might see the situation differently.

Don’t let hidden feelings block other emotions. Page 96 lists a chart titled A Landscape of Sometimes Hard-to-find-Feelings. For example under love is affectionate, caring, close and proud while under gratitude is appreciative, thankful, relieved, and admiring.

Find the feelings lurking under attributions, judgments and accusations. These three can led to misunderstandings as well as defensive actions by both sides.

We translate our feelings into: Judgments, Attributions, Characterizations and Problem-Solving (page98).

Don’t use feelings as Gospel (or Sutra!): Negotiate with them. Remember, feelings, no matter how strong are impermanent.

Don’t vent, describe feelings carefully. Frame feelings back into the problem, express the full spectrum of your feelings, and don’t evaluate- just share.

How do you share- express your feelings without judging, don’t monopolize (both sides can have strong feelings at the same time!), and start with, “I feel…”

Sometimes feelings are all that matter. Yes, I have mediated cases that seemed to drag on and on, heels were being dug in deeper and deeper and then finally one side acknowledged the other side was hurt by the situation and apologized for their feelings being hurt (apologies are for another day!). The person said they were happy now and that was all they wanted- for the other party to know and acknowledge they were hurt.

This is meant to be just a quick introduction to how feelings are ever present and are by no means intended to be an all inclusive writing on the topic. If you are interested in learning more about these points and difficult conversations in general, I recommend you purchase the book Difficult Conversations. It is available [here] at Amazon and many other locations.
read more "Feelings"

New Site Design For 2010!

New Enjoy Mediation Design For 2010!

Happy New Year!

It has been one year since www.EnjoyMediation.com launched so I thought the best way to celebrate was by redesigning the site. Have a look around and let me know what you think!

Look for new things in '10 such as frequent online interactive web panel disucssions on conflict resolution topics.

Enjoy!

Jeff
read more "New Site Design For 2010!"

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