44 Ways to Listen Like a Great Negotiator

44 Ways to Listen Like a Great Negotiator

Jens Thang has written some good articles on various negotiating and mediation tips. One is the above title that I think is worth a quick read. I think it is safe to say he finds it important not to speak or interupt (note points 1, 12, 32, 41).

His site is http://www.thenegotiationguru.com/ but unfortunately it has not been updated since May 2008.

From http://www.thenegotiationguru.com/44-ways-on-how-to-listen-like-all-great-negotiators

1) Ask questions
2) Give acknowledgments
3) Shut-up
4) Paraphrase
5) Follow-up
6) Positive body language
7) Keep nodding your head
8). Say lots of “mm”s
9) Take notes
10) Allow him to finish his sentences
11) Keep an open mind
12) Shut-up (again!)
13) Give full attention
14) Give feedback
15) Don’t get distracted by surroundings
16) Don’t get distracted by your inner thoughts
17) Listen with your face
18) Maintain eye contact
19) Avoid getting emotionally involved
20) Don’t think of what you are going to say
21) Lean forward
22) Summarize what you have heard
23) Empathy, Empathy, Empathy
24) Be genuinely interested
25) Put yourself in his shoes
26) Respect everything he has to say
27) Turn off your cellphone
28) Remove your watch
29) Don’t look at the clock
30) Encourage him to elaborate
31) Ask meaningful questions
32) Shut-up
33) Show that you are open to what he has to say
34) Speak at the same volume
35) Speak at the same rate
36) Be patient
37) Be comfortable with pauses
38) Give reassurance to the other party
39) Accept the fact that everyone has her own style of expression
40) Ask empowering questions
41) Did I say “Shut-up”?
42) Say “Uh-huhs”
43) Smile
43) Agree with what the speaker has to say
44) Do everything I have listed in MODERATION (except for the “shut-up”s)

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